Rebellion
I have always been a rebel, with or without a cause. A stubborn streak runs through my family bloodline.
I worked the school system out pretty quickly as a child. I can't tell you the number of classes I sat through not listening to a single word the teacher espoused, occasionally looking up from my notebook, which I filled hours writing letters to my friends, to make eye contact with the teacher and nod thoughtfully before burying myself in my inner dialogue once again. I recall teaching myself the bare minimum of whatever I needed to know in order to ace a test or complete an assignment often 24 hours prior to assessment. This was normal to me. I got good grades, was considered a good student, yet I spent the majority of my time completely disengaged from learning in the setting where we are told it must take place. There were a handful of teachers who I felt connected and truly engaged by but they were the exception.
I loved reading and I adored books as a child, and I fondly recall my mother saying to me she would never say no to my request for a new book. I couldn't get enough of Paul Jennings, John Marsden or the Goosebumps series. I loved visiting our local library and independent book seller and perusing all the new titles I couldn't wait to devour. I recall sleepovers with friends in my brothers bunk bed, taking turns to read chapters out loud to one another. But school eventually killed on of my greatest innate passions and it wasn't until I was in my thirties(!) that I was able to reconnect the joy with reading again. Now I couldn't imagine my life without books, but there was a huge period of my life where I had become utterly disenchanted. The simple act of being forced to read and analyse and regurgitate texts I had no interest in made reading tedious and laborious. To be fair I genuinely hated science, maths, history, geography, sport and languages at school, these subjects were meaningless to me, but to kill the love of english in a girl who genuinely loved books is unforgivable. The arts were my only haven that emerged unscathed by compulsory schooling, they were my refuge when everything else was simply to be endured.
I look back now and think what a waste. To spend year upon year uninterested in these subjects of wonder that now fascinate me as an adult, all because it went against my very nature to learn what I was told, when I was told, by who I was told. I shut down at school because it allowed me no autonomy, no choice, no time, no freedom, no say. If you look at my report cards or my ENTER score alone, you wouldn't see any of this at play. Outwardly I was a model student, inwardly I gave zero fucks.
For our children, we have chosen to side-step this entire 13 year charade and stay firmly on the path of joy. All of lifes wonders will be available to them to pick up and dive into and revel in and mull over when they so choose and happen to be ready. There will always be books, instruments, nature and the arts readily available to them. There will be no assessments, no bells, no detentions, no report cards. I have no interest in labelling them or putting them into boxes. They are free to be themselves and to follow their interests. They will know themselves more deeply as young adults than we ever had the opportunity to. Their path is my reclamation. Rebellion becomes redundant when life is lived on your terms.
I will always be a rebel, there are too many redundant and toxic institutions, systems, policies and ideologies that need to be dismantled and rebuilt a new. School is only part of the problem and the choices we make as one family are only a small part of the solution. I am grateful for the fire in my belly gifted to me by my parents and for the courage to listen to it and speak out. It is now my duty and privilege to stoke and nurture these same flames that are emerging in my own little radical rebels. Stubbornness is not a character flaw, it is my gift.