Recently, I laid down my secateurs and picked up my waiters friend. This hot pink multi-tool has sat largely redundant in the top drawer of our revolving kitchens for the past 8 years. To pick it up again, feel its lightweight form in my hand, is to remember a part of myself long forgotten.
Wine, food and old school hospitality defined my pre-children, inner-city living life. I left it all behind when I turned 30, my restaurant, the long days and late nights and my hospo family. My husband and I sought a quiet, slow, contented-with-less life and we’ve created what once we only dreamed of, here in our sleepy little coastal town.
Over the last 8 years I’ve metamorphosed, not into an entirely different creature but an illuminated version of the woman I once was. I became a mother and motherhood changed everything. After being let down and left traumatised by the mechanisation of my daughters birth, I began to unravel. I began to look at the systems that prop up our modern society with clarity and concern. I questioned everything, from our food system, our education system, our economic paradigm, things that never sat right in my gut but I was too busy making a living (not a life) to attune my heart too. I saw and listened and felt, smelled, tasted the unfathomable beauty and spectacle of mother nature. It became painstakingly clear that living a ‘normal’ life, following the path of least resistance, is costly to both people and planet.
When I came across the term Radical Homemakers, coined by Shannon Hayes in her book of the same name, I was elated to learn there was a title to encompass our way of living and that there were others out there who not only thought as we did, but were putting their values into direct action.
In contrast to the recent Trad Wife phenomenon, Hayes defines Radical Homemakers as:
“Men and women who focus on home and hearth as a political and ecological act, and who have centered their lives around family and community for personal fulfilment and cultural change. It explores what domesticity looks like in an era that has benefited from feminism, where domination and oppression are cast aside and where the choice to stay home is no longer equated with mind-numbing drudgery, economic insecurity, or relentless servitude. Radical Homemakers speak about empowerment, transformation, happiness, and casting aside the pressures of a consumer culture to live in a world where money loses its power to relationships, independent thought, and creativity.”
It goes onto to say that if you have ever considered quitting a job to plant tomatoes, read to a child, pursue creative work, preserve food and heal the planet, than this is the book for you. And I’ll go out on a limb here and say that if you enjoy reading my words, we probably share some of the same values, and you too might get a lot out of Hayes book.
So, here I am, an unapologetic Radical Homemaker who has recently stepped back into the world of wine, linen napkins, silver cutlery and fine stemmed glassware. I honestly thought my hospitality days were over, but for a number of reasons I’ve found myself working two days a week in what is a unique and surprisingly, values aligned restaurant. For starters, it’s nestled into the hills of my home region and surrounded by the most abundant biodynamic garden that informs the seasonal and locally focused set menu over the course of one long, slow lunch. I am a storyteller more than anything else, connecting diners with the provenance of their produce and plonk.
Rather than forgoing the life we have set up for ourselves, this new chapter is enriching it. My husband is getting more one-on-one time with the kids, I still get my slow mornings and early nights in bed, reading books to the little ones that see them off to sleep. I’m active and on my feet, using my brain and body in new and old ways, creating connections with people and welcoming them into this little slice of paradise as if it were my own home. I’m combining my eras of hospitality and homemaking and blending them together to make a living. But unlike in the past, today I’m making a life I love. I’m still a radical homemaker, just as I will always be a mother, wife, writer, reader and home educator.
As I settle into this new season of melding work and home life, winter is settling in too. I am welcoming the cold with open arms this year. I have been longing to winter and feeling the need to turn inward. My preparations for this personal hibernation are already underway and one glance at my current book stack will corroborate where my head & heart are at.
My personal wintering plans
Digital detox
In correlation with the steady decline in daylight, I am craving less artificial light and a break from social media all together. During podcast season (I’ve just wrapped Season Three of
) I find myself checking social media most days and whilst it does have its perks and I enjoy connecting with friends further afield, I am ready to step away for the next three months and focus on the relationships within my tangible orbit. Apps will be deleted, notifications will be non-existent. My vision is that after putting the kids to bed each night I will have a few hours to bury myself in books beside our woodburner and snuggle my human hot water bottle of a husband.Rearranging the furniture
At some point during summer we pushed all our living and dining furniture to the extremities of our main room so as to maximise floor space for play and dancing. But I’ve just recently shuffled it all back within closer proximity to the fireplace and it feels so much more snug already.
Cosify the bedrooms
I am half way through this process. Winter doonas have been swapped in, two new pillows have been purchased and each bed is topped with warm blankets and Grandma’s homemade quilts. Next is a deep clean out of our bedside tables which accumulate all kinds of things, not to mention teetering stacks of books we’ve read or are yet to read, and I might finally get around to hanging some artwork too.
Adjust lighting
I am not a fan of our homes downlights and I’ve reached the point of being able to put up with their stark lighting any longer. It’s time to invest in some new lamps (and by new I mean scouring op shops and marketplace for second hand gems).
Mend, knit and sew
It’s too dark and too cold for me to even contemplate spending my nights in the studio at my sewing machine, but I have a basket overflowing with clothes with holes to be patched and marks to be embroidered over. Winter seems like the perfect time to get on top of these repairs. It is also my favourite time of the year to knit. So far I’ve been whipping up dish cloths but my husband has asked for a beanie, my daughter would like a new scarf and I wouldn’t mind one for myself either so that should keep my fingers busy.
Read, write and sleep
As much as the needs of my sweet children will allow.
Allow the garden to winter too
My mind is not only inwardly focused but as you can tell from the previously listed points, my attention is on the interior of our home. I’m thinking about adding more hooks and shelving and cleaning out cupboards and less about what needs doing in the garden. Since all of our winter crops were put in, we’ve been largely letting the garden do its thing. Temperate autumn weather including a decent amount of rain has meant everything is slowly coming on of its own accord. Sugar snaps and snow peas have begun climbing their trellis. The broccoli seedlings have shot to life and are ready to be thinned out. Parsley, roquette, spinach and lettuce are being harvested continually and new kale, chard and coriander leaves are starting to appear. The garlic and onions are all settling in well too. There are lots of leaves still to fall in our orchard and I won’t think about pruning until the branches are bare. Blood oranges and mandarins are nearing harvest and the lemons are turning from green to gold. For now, we’re letting the grass grow and ignoring the weeds for the most part.
So that’s where my head, heart and hands are at present, slowly sinking into a wonder filled winter ahead.
My Winter Reading Booklist:
Wintering by
A Handmade Cottage by Jodie May Seymour
Cold Coast by Robyn Mundy
Slow Seasons by
The Wheel of the Year by Fiona Cook & Jessica Roux
Winter Wellness by Rachel de Thample
The Little Book of Hygge by Meik Wing
The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah
The Very, Very Far North by Dan Bar-el
The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe by C.S Lewis
Northern Lights by Phillip Pullman
How do you feel about winter?
Have you got any wintery books recommendations to share?
What are some of your favourite winter activities or rituals?
I’d love to chat with you in the comments.
I feel like the term “radical homemaker” is something I’ve been on the lookout for for a long time! Thank you! Going to check out the book now…
Stephanie, I’m feeling we are very much on the same page right now. I’m so ready and excited for wintering! I had such a wonderful autumn that just felt like the perfect preparation for winter. I love the intentionality you’re approaching the cooler season with! Cosying up the beds, rearranging and having winter projects on hand. And having a winter themed book list is genius! My family really enjoyed The Very, Very, Far North last year as a read aloud. I’ve added a few others you mentioned to my own TBR. One book along a similar theme I have my eye on is Sacred Seasons by Kristy Gallagher. We’ll also be coming your way soon! Would love to try and meet up if it works (: